Ward 7
by jaimek45
Summary: Sam needs help so his mother sends him to a psychiatric facility fro troubled teens. He meets a new silent friend who has a more troubled past than he does. He slowly starts to realize that his past isn't something he can run from, but something he has to accept in order to move forward. Now if only he can show her the same thing before it's too late.
1. Chapter 1

**So I've had this story in my head for awhile and I just had to type it up. To let everyone know I am still working on Attraction and Repulsion and Freedom. Hopefully I'll have those up by this weekend. So let me know what you think about this story and whether or not I should continue. I don't anything and no profit was made.**

Sam looked at his mother while she cried. He hated this. He hated her, his brother and sister, hell even his uncle had shown up. None of them knew. None of them cared what it takes to be on top. They all just think everything should come easy. That everything should be a certain way and it can't be.

It started simple enough, by counting his calories and exercising. WHen he began to notice results he quest for being perfect had just begun. Have a piece of pizza, run on the tread mill. Have a sip of soda, go for a swim. Chew a piece of gum, get a workout on the punching bag. For everything he ate or drank he had ot work out. It was something he needed. Something he could control. It also helped that once he lost his baby fat that Quinn Fabray began to notice him. Dating her was like being on top of the world, but the problem with being on top was that it was a long way down to the bottom. He had been determined not to fall. THe thought of Quinn brought him back to reality. She wasn't here. SHe didn't care.

"Sam we just want you to get better." His mom sobbed. "What you're doing...it-it isn't healthy."

"Oh what do you know." He spat.

"We know we love you." Stacey said excitedly.

"YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING!" He screamed.

"Sam!" His mother said quickly as Stacey ran from the room in tears. "Sam, I thought that you were okay for awhile. I thought that it was just a faze or that you might grow out of it, but you don't eat." She sighed heavily. "And when you do eat you constantly excercise."

"Well excuse me for being healthy." He rolled his eyes.

"It's not just about the eating. You're mean...you're mean to me, to your brother and sister. To everyone. And when you're not mean you're depressed. I don't know what to do anymore Sam. I'm at my wits end."

"What are you saying?" He stammered.

"I'm saying that I'm sending you to a treatment facility."

"You're sending me to a place for anorexic teen girls." He scoffed.

"No." His mother shook her head. "This isn't just for the eating. I'm sending you to The Lima hospital."

"You're putting me in a Psych ward!" He bellowed. "I'm not going."

"You don't have a choice Sam." She said flatly. "You are sixteen years old and I am your mother! You are going and that's final." He glared at her. "Your Aunt and Uncle will be taking you. Go pack your stuff." Sam looked at all of them in astonishment.

"THIS IS BULLSHIT!" He said storming out of the room.

It took an hour to pack his things. He had packed clothes, his ipod and his guitar. That was mandatory. His mom tried to tell him that they may not let him take it, but he told her that if he couldn't bring it then he absolutely wasn't going. His dad had given him this just before he died. Whenever he played it he still felt close to him. Like he was right there watching over him.

* * *

The car ride was mostly silent. His Aunt tried to talk to him about nothing in particular, but he just rolled his eyes and put his headphones in. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now, especially them. The hospital loomed in the distance. It was a tall dark gray building. It had 7 stories with large rectangular windows. There was no fence surrounding it, but there were lots of trees and what appeared to be a garden. He pulled out his headphones as the car came to a stop.

"Alright Sam." His uncle said loudly. It came out rather rude. Who shoved a stick up his ass? No one was forcing him to stay in the drab old place. "Out."

"I'm moving." He groaned.

As he grabbed his bag and guitar he turned to see two people smiling at him. The first was a man in a white overcoat. His hair gave him a quiet nod and looked at his aunt and uncle. The woman was smaller and more timid looking. He hair was a bright streak of red, but her smile never wavered.

"Hello Samuel." She smiled.

"It's Sam."

"Yes...well my name is Ms. Pillsbury. I'm your personal psychiatrist. I'm here to help you get better." Her thought her face was gonna split with how wide she smiled.

"Whatever." He said slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Hey Sam." The man turned his attention back to Sam. "My name is Dr. Schuster. I help run the ward. I also run the group sessions and Music therapy."

"okay."

"Well let's go get you acquainted with everyone. There's actually a group meeting you can attend in about an hour." Sam looked back at his aunt and uncle.

"Good luck Sam." His uncle reached his hand out to him, but once he realized that he wasn't going to reciprocate the handshake he pulled it back.

"Just know that we love you. Everyone loves you." His sunt was starting to cry and he wasn't sure why that pissed him off, but it did.

"Just know that you can all go fuck yourself." He spat out quickly as he followed Ms. Pillsbury into the hospital.

* * *

He followed the two older people into the elevator. Ms. Pillsbury pressed floor seven and pushed herself back against the wall. Dr. Schuster smiled at him and then stared at the door. When the doors opened it revealed a large room with light blue paint. There were six other teenagers sitting around the room variously all talking or doing something else to occupy their time.

"Ryder!" Dr. Schuster yelled causing Sam to jump slightly. A boy a little younger than him bounced over towards them. He looked at Dr. Schuster, but Sam noticed he wouldn't make eye contact with him. "Ryder. This is Sam. I want you to show him around, introduce him to everyone."

"I don't know Dr. Schue..." He kept twisting his hands together.

"Ryder you know that this will be good for you...now go on." The Dr turned to look at Sam with his ever present smile. "Sam. We're gonna need your bags." Sam raised an eyebrow. "We have to check everything. That's protocol."

"So you're gonna go through my shit?!" He asked rudely tossing his bag at Dr. Schuster. "Awesome. Just freaking awesome!"

"Ryder, Sam's suppose to be your roommate. Like I said show him around and introduce him to everyone." Ryder looked nervously at Sam and then nodded.

"Follow me." He said softly. His voice was barely above a whisper. "This is the rec room Bathrooms and showers are just down that hall on the left." He pointed down the narrow hallway to the right. "We only have one so the girls shower at a different time." Sam nodded and looked around the rec room at everyone who was taking turns staring at him except for one tiny brunette in who sat next to the window. She hadn't even bothered to look back at him once since they entered. He looked over at Ryder to see him walking towards a large desk behind a wall of windows. "This is the nurses station. We get out meds here and down this hall is our rooms."

"Where's the good doctor's office?" Sam scoffed.

"One floor up. He also has music therapy up there." Ryder looked nervous again. "This place isn't big, but the staff is nice. We get visitors every Thursday and we get to go outside if it's nice for a couple of hours. If you listen and do what they say you'll get out of here a lot faster."

"Good to know."

"So what are you here for?" Sam looked at him and Ryder shrugged. "It's what we have to talk about. We don't get cable and they rarely ever bring in any good movies. So we discuss ourselves. Our old lives, but mostly our diagnosis." He pointed to the two girls sitting on the couch. One was a pretty latina the other a leggy blonde. They were cuddled up next to each other giggling as they whispered. "The blonde is Brittany. She's schizophrenic. She hallucinates quite a bit. The other girl is Santana she has Bipolar disorder." He points at a rail thin girl sitting by herself reading. "That's Marley." Sam noticed the admiration in his voice. "She's anorexic." He pointed at the only other male who was doing push ups in the corner. "THat's Brody. No one knows his real diagnosis, but rumor has it he's a sex addict."

"So what about you?" Sam asked.

"Social anxiety..." Ryder said quietly again. "I'm getting better though. I use to only talk to my parents. Now I can talk to just about everyone. Dr. Schu says I'm going to be getting out soon if I keep it up." He looked at Sam questionly.

"Don't know mine yet." Ryder nodded. "Who's that?" He pointed to the tiny brunette who continued to stare out the window.

"That's Rachel..." Ryder said slowly. "She's a lifer."

"A lifer?" Sam was confused. She didn't look overtly crazy, just bored.

"Everyone here is in and out. We come in for awhile take our meds and when they see some improvement they ship us back out to our parents. We usually aren't in here any longer than a few months, but Rachel's been here for two years."

"What's wrong with her?" Sam was astonished. She looked just like a normal teenager staring out a window dreaming about her life.

"SHe hasn't spoken in two years...Her boyfriend died and she just snapped." Ryder shrugged.

"If she doesn't talk how do you know that?" Sam smirked.

"Santana snuck into the nurse's office and read her file." Ryder watched Sam stare at Rachel in wonder. "Do you want me to introduce you? She won't say anything, but she may look at you. That's about as good as it's gonna get." Sam nodded and followed Ryder over to the tiny girl.

The first thing he noticed was her hair. It cascaded down her back in beautiful, shiny waves. He just want to touch it. It looked so soft. He skin was a beautiful tan. He could only assume it was natural due to the fact that she spent the last two years in a nut house. Ryder bent down so he was eye level with her and smiled.

"Hey Rach." She stiffened slightly and turned and Sam saw the beautiful chocolate color of her eyes. She wasn't beautiful in the conventional sense, not like Quinn. She was better. She was unique. Sam swooned slightly as he stayed steady on Ryder. "This is Sam. He's new. He just wanted to say hi." She looked at him quickly and turned back to the window. AS they walked away Ryder leaned in towards him slowly. "That's about as good as it's gonna get."

Dr. Schuster walked out into the middle of the rec room and smiled. This guy was unnaturally cheerful for someone who worked with crazy teenagers. Seriously no one should be this happy. He grabbed a chair and sat down clapping his hands twice. Sam watched as almost instantly everyone, including Rachel, grabbed a chair and set up a circle. He shrugged slightly and settled his chair between Ryder and his new silent friend.

"Alright everyone, we have a new member who joined us today. I want everyone to welcome Sam." Everyone turned and appraised him slowly. He returned the blank looks. "Does anyone have any questions for Sam?"

"So what are you in for?" The latina asked quickly.

"Santana that's incredibly rude." the rail thin girl interjected.

"Marley's right Santana." Dr. Schuster said quickly, but Santana just shrugged.

"I'll tell you what I'm in for...I have anger issues. So what's your deal? You angry too? Like sex too much? Do you play the blood violin?" Santana mimicked a violin motion on her wrist.

"SANTANA THAT'S ENOUGH!" Dr. Schuster yelled causing everyone to jump slightly, everyone except Rachel. "Sam you don't have to answer her." Sam shrugged and remained silent.

"So?" Santana started again with a smirk. "What brings you here? What did mommy and daddy not give you enough hugs and kisses?" Sam flinched back under everyone's gaze. The only one who didn't seem to stare was Rachel. She looked at the floor, not making eye contact with anyone. She was playing with a little orange stressball.

"My dad was killed in a car accident." He paused thinking of that day. "I was in the car with him. I watched my dad die." He sighed. He noticed Rachel's head whip around to look at him quickly. She surveyed him taking in his demeanor before looking back at the ball in her hands.

"Oh boo freaking hoo." Santana spat. "People die in car accidents everyday. You don't see the world stopping every time someone dies. Build a freaking bridge and get over it."

In that instant time seemed to slow. A tiny orange streaked flew through the air before smacking Santana in the side of the head. As the ball mad a resounding _**THWACK**_ everyone grew silent. The ball dropped to the floor, bounced a couple of times and rolled back to Rachel, just like a dog returning to it's owner.

"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT YENTL!" Santana bolted up as did Dr. Schu. He instantly stood up in front of Santana to block her from getting to Rachel. Rachel remained sitting in the chair. She was no longer looking at the ground, but at Santana. Anger flared behind her eyes.

"Santana!" Sr. Schue exclaimed. "You need to calm down. Work on those techniques I taught you."

"She threw a ball at me!" She said through her teeth as she remained standing there.

"Yes," He said slowly. "And you know exactly why she did." Sam watched in total confusion as an unspoken message passed between the doctor and Santana. Santana took another look at Rachel before sitting down. Rachel quickly looked back at the floor.

"You're on my list hobbit." Santana spat quickly.

Group moved on for the next half hour. Ryder talked about himself mostly. Marley discussed her change in eating habits and Santana continued to mock everyone. When time was up Dr. Schuster told them he would see them all tomorrow for another group meeting and music therapy. Everyone seemed to nod as they moved back to their respective corner. Santana and Brittney returned to the couch to watch TV, Marley went back to reading, Brody decided to play a game of solitaire and Rachel returned to her window. Sam jumped slightly as he felt a quick pat on his shoulder.

"Welcome to ward 7." Ryder smiled before moving towards the table Brody was sitting at.

The rest of the day passed quickly. People came and went as they went to their respective treatments and medications were passed out. Sam was informed that until Dr. Schuster could meet with him he wouldn't be on any medication. Before he knew it it was 9 o'clock and Ms. Pillsbury was rounding them all up to go to bed.

* * *

Sam and Ryder's room was small. It was furnished with two small dressers and two small twins beds. The walls were an terrible off white color and the bed sheet matched. Ryder smiled at him before moving to his bed. Sam knew he wasn't going to sleep. Who could sleep here? He could here ambulances come and go from the emergency room downstairs. Every once in awhile Brittany would scream down the hall and wake up from a nightmare. Sam eventually gave up on sleep and decided that he would go play his guitar in the rec room.

It was barely lit. Ms. Pillsbury sat at the desk quietly working on paperwork. As he walked past her she looked up and gave him a small smile.

"Can't sleep?" She asked quietly.

"No."

"Don't worry you'll get use to it." She nodded and returned to her work. As he sat down at one of the small card tables that adorned the room he noticed some slight movement out of the corner of his eye. It was Rachel. She was still silently sitting at the window staring out into the darkness. She looked much the same as she did when he first saw her. Except instead of a pair of yoga pants she wore thick, fluffy sleep pants. She still wore a black racerback tank and a long sweater. It wasn't cold. Why would she need a sweater?

He moved towards her slowly guitar in hand. There was another chair right beside her and he quickly sat down. He wasn't sure if she was ignoring him or just to lost in her own thoughts to notice him, but she didn't move an inch. He cleared his throat, no reaction. By the third throat clearing her finally just decided to speak.

"I-uh-I was gonna play my guitar." No movement. "I hope that doesn't bother you." Still no movement. "I also want to say thanks..." She finally turned to stare at him. No emotion on her face whatsoever. "For, you know, helping with Santana." Her face didn't change and he quickly realized what had actually happened. "that wasn't for me was it? You were standing up for yourself?" She didn't answer. He didn't know why he thought she might. "Okay..." he said as she turned back towards the window. "I'm just gonna play...now." No response. He shrugged and started strumming away until he started playing a song.

**don't move, stay right where you are**

**talking can only give you away**

**and there's so nothing to say**

**the voices say hello**

**imprisoned, they're invisible**

**but we look a lot alike**

**this is boring, all we talk about is you**

**come on give me a reason**

**a boy and his machine gun**

**when you're finished struggling**

**are you free tonight?**

**did they stick you in here**

**cause you weren't working right?**

**don't move stay just like you are**

**you look sane motionless like that**

**so very flat**

**it's amazing what velocity can do**

**when human beings are in season**

**a boy and his machine gun**

**if you're quiet we might see some**

**when you're finished struggling**

**are you free tonight?**

**did they stick you in here cause you weren't working right?**

**there's a TV in every room**

**and it's free even pay-per-view**

**which you'll need if no one's going to visit you**

**Animal**

Sam could have sworn he heard her humming along, but he didn't say anything. He knew if she did he would never hear her again. So he kept playing as if nothing had ever happened.

**i know who you're waiting for**

**no one's coming though**

**so fuck you and your principles**

**and fuck whatever made me**

**perhaps you think i'm evil**

**perhaps you think i'm crazy**

As the song came to an end he looked up from his fingers and noticed that Rachel had now turned away from the window and was facing him. He smiled at her for a moment and quickly noticed she had her hand extended out towards him slightly. A small piece of paper was clasped between her finger. He took it gently. Without another word and before he could read what she had just handed him she walked away, back towards the rooms. He waited until she was out of sight before reading the note.

_We never really bury the dead, Sam , not really. We take them with us. It's the price of living. _

He didn't quite know what to say. He looked up at Ms. Pillsbury. She was still sitting at the desk diligently working on paperwork. She hadn't seen anything. He quickly pocketed the note and went back to his room. He laid there in bed staring at the ceiling, unmoving. Ryder said she hadn't spoken in two years from what Ryder said. Maybe she always wrote notes. Maybe that was how she communicated. He would just have to ask Dr. Schuster.

**So let me know what you think? Should I continue or not? If you have any questions, comments or concerns let me know either post it in the reviews or message me. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you everyone for the awesome reviews I am so glad you love the story and that I'm not the only one who enjoys Samchel! I do not own anything and no profit was made. **

Dr. Schuester's office was large. The side walls were covered with floor to ceiling bookshelves and his desk sat against the far wall, out of the way. There was a small leather chair sitting next to a large leather sofa, obviously bought as a set. The books were all about teenage mental disorders and how to treat them. Just as he was about to pull a book off the shelf the sound of the door opening startled him and he jumped back.

"Ah." Dr. Schuester smiled. "How are you doing today Samuel?"

"It's Sam." He said coldly.

"My apologies. Sam." He chuckled. "So...THis can be quite a shock. How are you feeling?" He motioned for Sam to sit. He did.

"Don't know." He shrugged.

"Why don't you tell me about your problem?" He suggested.

"I don't have a problem." He said flatly.

"Sam..." He said slowly. "You wouldn't be here if you didn't have a problem."

"I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM." He said a little louder to get the point across.

"Alright..."Dr. Schuester held his hands up as he tried to calm the young man down. "Why don't we start with why you're here."

"Cause my mom's a bitch." He shrugged. "She thinks I have some anger issues."

"Can we talk about that?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Let's start from the beginning...that usually helps." Sam took a deep sigh before he started.

"My dad died in a car accident two years ago." He let out another loud sigh. "We were arguing about grades and the future and he took his eyes off the road, just for a minute, but I guess that's all it really takes. We crossed the center line and then I woke up in the hospital."

"So is that when your mood changes started?"

"What mood changes?" He turned to look at the Doctor.

"Alright..." he trailed off making a few notes on a piece of paper. "So when did the exercising start?"

"I don't know..." he shrugged. "I mean...I guess it started with keeping up with football. I needed a scholarship to get into college. I had to be the best, for my dad, I had to make him proud you know?" He looked at Dr. Schuester who nodded sympathetically. "There's was no chance with my grades, so I had to stay on the top of my game. And then I met Quinn." He closed his eyes and imagined what she looked like. "She's perfection...Blonde hair, beautiful green eyes...and she was mine, but I saw her flirting with that douchebag karofsky...he was the second string quarterback and he was always gunning for my position and apparently my girlfriend." he clenched and unclenched his fists repeatedly. "So I had to push myself... be better, faster, stronger. I had to be the best. Be on the top of my game. TO be good wasn't good enough I had to be the best." Sam continued to drone on for another 30 minutes about his thoughts and feelings, Dr. Schuester was insanely easy to talk to.

"I understand. The pressure can really get to you." He made a few more notes before looking back up at Sam. "Working out isn't a bad thing. It's a fantastic idea to be in shape, but pushing your body too hard can lead to injuries, sickness...even death in extreme cases. I think you have Exercise bulimia which was brought about by your bipolar disorder." Sam's jaw dropped. "Your bipolar disorder made you more vulnerable to develop exercise bulimia. I believe that in your manic states you did poor in school, you were easily distracted, you had a short temper, and you were more driven to obtain you exercise goals. However, in your depressive states you grew hopeless, sad and I believe the you feel guilt over your father's death. " Sam began to ignore the doctor as he took Rachel's not out of his pocket and read it. "Sam?"

"Yea?"

"What are you reading there?" Dr. Schuester leaned towards him to get a better look at a tiny scrap of paper.

"Just a note." He said nonchalantly.

"Ah." HE said with a raised eyebrow. "So have you been making friends?"

"Yea." He smirked slightly.

"Well that's always good. Friends can help you a lot." Dr. Schue beamed with pride at him. "Ryder is a good kid. I bet you'll get along."

"Yea Ryder is great." Sam nodded. "I figured it would be all crazies in here. Kind of like Santana, but they're not all that bad." Dr. Schue chuckled at him slightly.

"Glad to know you don't think everyone is crazies." He paused slightly at he made a few more notes. "Have you spoken with anyone else?"

"Not really no." He wondered for a moment whether or not to say anything about Rachel. Would she want Dr. Schue to know about the note? Maybe this was meant to be a private thing. He had only just met her and she didn't really talk to him, but he didn't want to betray her. He couldn't explain it, something in him told him he had to protect her. She was fragile.

"Something bothering you?" He waited for Sam to say something, anything, but he remained quiet. "THis is an open sharing space Sam anything you say here will be kept in here."

"SO it's kind of like Las Vegas in here? Got any good shows?" Dr. Schue chuckled slightly. "I just..." He sighed. "I don't want to break anyone's trust."

"I understand, but like I said. I won't repeat what you tell me. Not to anyone. I can't. It would be illegal."

"Ryder didn't write me this note." He frowned, feeling like he was completely betraying her.

"Oh?" Dr. Schue quirked his head to the side. "Did you bring it from home? Is it from your girlfriend?"

"No...Rachel gave me this note." He said slowly.

"Rachel?" He looked at him strangely, almost as if he didn't recognize the name. The he watched Dr. Schue's face change to one of understanding, then shock and awe. "Rachel Berry?!"

"Uh...yea...Is there another Rachel here I don't know about?"

"No..." He shook his head."I just-she hasn't spoken in two years, not to anyone...and then she gives you this note."

"Uh...yea?"

"What happened exactly?" He immediately placed his notebook to the side and leaned forward towards Sam.

"You're not gonna say anything to her right? I don't want to betray her trust...not like she told me not to tell anyone...or told me anything really, but I don't know if she wanted me to tell people about the note." Concerned marred his features. What was it about this girl that drove him to the point of being concerned about her feelings?

"No. I won't." He paused waiting for Sam to start speaking first.

"I don't know I didn't do anything really. Ryder introduced me earlier yesterday and then I couldn't sleep. So I went out into the rec room to play, I didn't think anyone would be out there...WHenever I couldn't sleep at home I would take my guitar outside and play whatever came to mind. So when I say her just sitting there I asked if it was going to bother her she didn't say anything."

"Then she handed you the note?"

"No." He shook his head. "I played for awhile...just one song and I could have sworn I heard her humming, but when I stopped playing it was silent. We sat there for a minute, you know, just kind of watching each other and THEN she handed me the note and walked out of the room."

"A song?" He smirked. "I told her father's music was the way to get through to her. You can go for today Sam. I have a few phone calls to make. I think you have a visitor today." Sam nodded and gave the Doctor one more pleading glance to keep his mouth shut before exiting the room.

* * *

Sam studied the room. Santana sat there looking annoyed at what he could only assume were her parents. Marley was grinning widely at a larger woman as they hugged tightly. Brittany was hugging a rather fat cat as if her life depended on it while an older blonde woman smiled at her. Brody sat listening to his Ipod by himself, no one came to visit him. He smirked when he saw Ryder dragging what he assumed was his parents over to meet Marley's mom. After watching the younger boy for a day he knew he was infatuated with Marley.

Then there was Rachel. She was sitting at the Piano now instead of at the window. Three young men around his age sat around her. One was wearing a bow tie that perfectly matched his red pants while the other, who was siting rather close to the first guy, had his hair perfectly styled, a messenger bag sat next to his feet. The last man who was currently trying to speak to her looked tough. He was large with a thick stripe of Dark hair in the middle of his head. Sam had never really liked mohawks, but this guy seemed to pull it off.

WHo was that guy? Not her boyfriend. Ryder said he had died. So her friend maybe? Her brother? He didn't know and he wasn't sure why it bothered him. He watched for another moment and much to his surprise Rachel turned slightly and gave him a nervous smile. It wasn't large or really even that noticable, but it was a smiled and it was there. It was his. He returned it and quickly noticed that the three men turned to gawk at him. Well two of them gawked. Mohawk dude glared. He felt someone tapped him on the shoulder and he felt relief flow through him as he didn't have to be on the wrong end of that guys glare.

"Quinn?" He was shocked to see her there. She hadn't even shown up to his "intervention". He supposed that's what it was. That's what it seemed like anyways. WHy was she here?

"Hey sweetheart."She seemed overly cheerful. "I miss you."

"I've only been gone a day." He said flatly.

"I still missed you." She frowned.

"Apparently not enough to show up to whatever that was." He spat.

"Don't be like that."

"Like what?!" He said a little louder than necessary. "Like my girlfriend fucking abandoned me when I needed her?!" Quinn's eyes narrowed.

"Don't pretend this is all my fault! Don't pretend that you weren't already broken before I met you! I brought you up! I made you better!"

"No Quinn!" He yelled. Everyone was staring he didn't care. "You made me worse! I was never good enough! What I liked didn't matter! You made me push everything I liked out of my life! No more comics, Sci-fi"

"none of your geeky stuff." She eyed him carefully. "Sam you wanted to be popular...I gave you the means."

"I was never good enough, but I had to have you. I had to keep you."

"Look, I'm sorry I wasn't there." She said quickly cutting him off. "But I'm going to be here for you, every step of the way."

"Quinn..." He said slowly. What did she want him to say? She hadn't ever really been there for him? Not when his dad died? Not when he dislocated his shoulder and almost lost his spot on the football team to Karofsky, Karofsky that douche bag who flirted with Quinn every chance he got. Quinn was beautiful, that was the first thing that attracted him to her, but she was manipulative. He felt he had to be perfect just to keep her.

"Oh, Sam I gotta go. I have Cheerleading practice, but I'll see you in two weeks." She stood up to leave.

"Two weeks?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yea." She smiled. "Your mom is coming next week." She kissed him on the cheek and without another word headed for the exit.

He sat there pouting for what seemed like hours. Waiting for everyone to stop staring. When they finally did he stood up and stormed out of the room. WHat did he ever see in her? Who did that bitch think she was?

* * *

Rachel watched from her place by the piano unsure of what to do. She decided it was best to stay out of it. She turned back to the piano and began random notes. She hated visitor day. Her fathers didn't bother visiting anymore, why visit a daughter who's broken, who doesn't talk, who's crazy. They never said that, but they didn't have to. She saw it in their eyes the last time they visited her. The last thing she heard was they were trying to adopt a new kid, start over. Now it was just Kurt and Noah with her.

Noah had been her constant companion since they were three. THey had gone to temple to together. He was her first kiss, her first boyfriend and then her first heartbreak, but she knew Noah wasn't her destiny. He was a stepping stone to F- No! She slammed her hands down on several keys at the same time making as much noise as possible. ALmost as if the loud noise would rip his name from her memory. Noah and Kurt looked at her shocked, but then let it go.

Kurt was one of her closest friends. They immediately bonded over their love of Broadway. THey just knew in their hearts that when they graduated high school that they would get a small apartment in New York and go to NYADA. She would get a starring role on Broadway, preferably in Wicked and Kurt would start his own clothing line, but everything different now. everything has changed and now Kurt's brought this new guy, his boyfriend he says. Blaine. He's talking about them moving to New York together. Blaine seems nice. SHe's glad that he found someone to fulfill his dreams with now that it wasn't an option for her.

She turned as the quiet strumming of a guitar broke through the silence of her world. Everyone else had left with their parents. THey liked to walk the grounds. She didn't so every visiting day she spent inside, ignoring her visitors. There was Sam, sitting calmly on a chair strumming away in his own little world. Rachel recognized the pain in his eyes. She saw the same look in the mirror everyday. Pain, anguish, loss, loneliness she knew these feelings all too well.

_I hurt myself today _

_To see if I still feel _

_I focus on the pain _

_The only thing that's real _

_The needle tears a hole_

_The old familiar sting _

_Try to kill it all away _

_But I remember everything _

His voice was haunting. She watched in awe as he strummed away completely unaware of his audience. Her hypnotism by Sam did not go unnoticed by her friends. They all watched as their dearest friend, who had been ignoring them for two years shut off in her own world, seemed so enthralled by this mystery man.

_What have I become _

_My sweetest friend _

_Everyone I know goes away _

_In the end _

_And you could have it all _

_My empire of dirt _

_I will let you down _

_I will make you hurt _

Noah didn't appreciate this new series of events. Who the hell was this guy? What kind of strange hold did he have over Rachel?

_I wear this crown of thorns _

_Upon my liar's chair _

_Full of broken thoughts _

_I cannot repair _

_Beneath the stains of time _

_The feelings disappear _

_You are someone else _

_I am still right here _

_What have I become _

_My sweetest friend _

_Everyone I know goes away _

_In the end _

_And you could have it all _

_My empire of dirt _

_I will let you down _

_I will make you hurt _

_If I could start again _

_A million miles away _

_I would keep myself _

_I would find a way_

As the song finished Kurt and Blaine began to clap. Sam jumped slightly and turned startled that someone was actually still in the room. He hadn't seen them when he walked in. He gave a slight smile and nod to the two men clapping and then turned to the guy with a mohawk, he was still glaring. And then there was Rachel. She had a huge smiled plastered to her face. He felt embarrassed and proud at the same time.

"Thanks." He smirked. "Sorry Rach. I didn't mean to interrupt your visit." She smiled wider, trying to let him know that he hadn't interrupted anything. "I'll ...just...go." He quickly ducked out of the room. Rachel watched until he was completely out of sight before turning back to the piano and playing with the keys again.

"Who was that Rachel?" Kurt asked, a hint of wonder and happiness that she was making friends laced his voice.

Silence. Not a shrug or a sigh.

"Rachel?" Kurt placed a hand on her shoulder. She didn't look at him. "Rachel, sweetheart, you're neer going to get better if you keep shutting us out." She grew angry playing notes intentionally. Music was and always had been her outlet. It's just that no one seemed to listen now.

"Did you hear that?" Blaine laughed.

"What?" Noah asked confused as to what Blaine found so funny.

"Do you not recognize the song she's playing?" He got it? Someone she was just now meeting? Not her best friends?

"No." Kurt and Noah shook their heads.

"Rachel?" She stopped playing for a second. "Can you start over from the beginning?"

She did as she was asked and began to play the little melody again as Blaine sang the lyrics

_I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed_

_Get along with the voices inside of my head_

_You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath_

_And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy_

_Well, that's nothing_

_Well, that's nothing_

Noah and Kurt sat there awe struck. How long had she been communicating to them through her music? It was such a Rachel way to speak? How had they not noticed? They both felt terrible, but quickly came to the realization that now that they had a way to communicate they also had a way to help her.

**Well let me know what you thought. If you have any questions, comments, concerns or suggestions let me know. Reviews are love! THe songs used were Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt and THe monster. **


	3. Chapter 3

**I want to thank everyone for the reviews and for following or favoriting! You are all amazing and you have no idea what it means to me. I apologize that it took me so long to upload this new chapter, but sometimes life gets in the way. Alright so I want to make you guys a deal. The first three people who review can ask me any question about this chapter or anything that might be coming up in this story and I will answer it, so long as you give me a way to message you back. As always I do not own anything and no profit was made. **

Quinn didn't comeback. The week after his mom came to visit, which was a disaster, he waited and waited, but she never showed. He should have figured she wouldn't have even bothered. Instead he was forced to get sympathetic looks from Rachel while she sat with her friends. Which is how he found himself sitting on the outside of her group during visiting day for the past five months. Everytime his mom didn't show up Rachel would slowly cross the room, grab his hand and drag him towards her friends.

Not today though. Today it was snowing outside and Rachel sat waiting patiently next to the piano. She nervously shifted her eyes back and forth between the clock and the door. Sam didn't have the heart to tell her that there was a blizzard going on outside and Puck and Kurt probably couldn't make it. After watching her for another few minutes he opened his mouth to say something when the sound of the phone ringing out caused him to jump. Ms. Pilsbury answered quickly, spoke for a few minutes and set the phone down before looking sadly up at Rachel.

"Rachel..."She said with a sad smile. "Rachel, sweetheart, Noah and Kurt can't make it. The snow is causing too many problems, but Kurt said that if the roads are okay tomorrow they'll be here." She paused briefly. "I told them that was okay."

Rachel's face looked so broken. She breathed in and out a few times, trying to make sure she didn't cry, and then nodded once and went to go sit by the window again. Sam watched her sit in her corner, not moving, not speaking, just watching the wind whip the snow about.

"It's just so sad..." Ms. Pilsbury sighed as she stood next to Sam.

"What's sad?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Rachel's life here...She's all alone." Ms. Pilsbury looked nervous, she knew she wasn't suppose to say anything, but Sam was Rachel's only companion, she felt that if anyone should know he should. "He father's don't visit her. They never have."

"I don't understand..." He said as his mouth hung open slightly at the severity of Ms. Pilsbury's statement.

"They dropped her off...about four months after the accident. She was still in the leg cast...She had to have one more surgery before she could even walk...they just dropped her off and left."

"How could a parent do that to their child?"

"I don't know. They signed all of their rights away to Dr. Schuester. Kurt and Noah are the only one's who visited. THey've never missed a visiting day." Ms. Pilsbury let out another sigh before ducking back behind her desk and finishing up her paperwork. He watched her for another moment, she looked so sad sitting up next to the window justing watching the snow fall that's when the idea hit him.

"Rachel?" He said softly as he made his way towards her slowly. She turned to look at him, her chocolate-brown orbs pierced his soul. "Do you have a winter coat and gloves?" She raised an eyebrow. "Let's go play in the snow." He grinned. Her eyes shot to Ms. Pilsbury's form sitting behind the desk. "I'll deal with her. Let's go." She stood up and walked towards the piano. Sam thought that meant no, but smiled when he realized that she was beginning to play Let it Snow. "Is that a yes?" She smiled at him and ran towards her room.

"Ms. Pilsbury?" Sam called out as he walked towards the nurses station. She smiled up at him almost as if she had heard the whole conversation.

"Take her outside." She said happily. "It'll probably do her some good."

* * *

Sam waited for Rachel by the elevator as he kept a close eye on the conditions outside. He heard the sound of solid heels hitting the hard linoleum floor and turned to see her. She was quite a sight. A bright red coat, black knitted hat pulled over her soft curls and thick black gloves. The one thing that made him smile was the fact that she hadn't changed out of her yoga pants, the one staple of her wardrobe.

"You're going to wear those out there?" She didn't say anything, but simply looked down at her legs and shrugged. "You know that's the biggest response I've gotten out of you since I've been here." She smiled at him showing off her bright white teeth. "Well c'mon then." She followed him closely and before the doors shut he couldn't help but laugh. "You're going to freeze your cute little butt off." Her mouth dropped open just as the doors closed and Ms. Pilbury's face shot up to see Rachel looking flabbergasted and Sam doubled over laughing.

The snow was a blinding shade of white as Rachel and Sam walked towards the field that lined the back of the hospital. Rachel stepped out slowly carefully taking in everything. Sam found her curiosity both refreshing and oddly endearing. She took everything in like a child almost as if she were seeing everything for the first time. He watched Rachel reach down and touch the snow. That's when a thought hit him.

"Rachel...When was the last time you were outside?" She stared at him and he rolled his eyes. He never understood why he thought she might answer. "You haven't left the hospital since you've been here have you." Nothing. "Well let's make the best of it." He said before picking up a snowball and tossing it at her shoulder.

Ms. Pilsbury and doctor Schuester watched the pair from a window that overlooked the back of the property. Neither could contain the smiles on their faces. Rachel was happy and smiling. THey had neer seen her like this. THey had never seen her truly happy.

"I wonder how he's doing it?" Ms Pilsbury whispered her question slowly.

"I don't know and frankly...I don't care. WHat ever he's doing is working." He smiled down at the two teenagers as they played in the snow.

Rachel's laugh was musical and the sound of it threw Sam's aim off just slightly. As her laugh rang out through the silence that surrounded them Sam had just let go of the snowball in his hand. It sailed through the air a quiet almost inaudible whistle before landing against the tan skin of Rachel's face. She stopped laughing and fell to the ground.

"oh, shit!" Sam ran to her on the ground and as he reached her he heard her laughter pick back up. "Rachel, I am so sorry." He said as she shook the snow out of her hair and off her face. She stood up and smiled at him and Sam couldn't help it. He reached forward and brushed a few snowflakes off her nose. Her breathing hitched as he leaned forward slowly. He could feel her warm breath on his face as they grew closer. She smelled like the pancakes and syrup they had for breakfast.

Sam's father always told him that life was a series of moments and the best and the worst always coincide with each other. You have to have the bad moments to realize just how great those good moments are. This moment was definitely a bad moment. Just before their lips met, just as Sam's heart began to race, the sound of squealing tires cut through the air.

He watched as Rachel's eyes widened. Her mouth dropped open and her face contorted as sheer terror struck her. She dropped to the ground and let out a scream that most horror movie heroines would be proud of. As she rocked herself back and forth on the ground Sam wondered what happened.

"Rachel?!" He panicked. "Rachel?! Tell me what's going on?! What's happened?" She remained silent as she tried to soothe herself.

"Rachel?!" Sam turned to see Dr. Schuester and Ms. Pilsbury running out of the hospital. "What happened Sam?!"

"Nothing, we were playing in the snow and I accidentally hit her with the a snowball, not on purpose though," He interjected quickly. "and then she started laughing and...and the we heard a cars tires screech and then...this."

"Alright." Dr. Schuester nodded. "Let's get you inside."

Sam watched in stunned silence as Dr. Schuester wrapped an arm around her and lead her back into the hospital. He was so focused on Rachel's figure as it she disappeared through the doors that he didn't notice Ms. Pilsbury standing beside him. He jumped slightly as she spoke.

"It was a nice thought Sam." She smiled sadly and placed a hand on his shoulder before following the first two inside.

* * *

Sam avoided Rachel the rest of the day. Not that she really sought him out. She spent all day in her room and Sam thought it was for the best. So he spent the remainder of his day drawing and doodling in his book.

The next day found Sam standing in front of a bank of pay phones trying his best to get in touch with his elusive girlfriend. He slammed the phone down just as it went to voice mail once again. He let out a loud groan and stormed past Rachel, who was sitting at the piano. She smiled at him, he didn't even bother to return it. Just as he reached the hallway he heard Rachel's fingers play a few notes on the piano. He turned to stare at her.

"What are you trying to tell me Rach?" He jumped as Santana scoffed.

"You don't recognize that song?" She smirked playfully.

"Can't say I do Satan."

"Rach..." The nickname threw Sam off, when were the two of them so cozy. "Can you play it again?" Rachel looked at her for a moment and played the notes again while Santana sang.

_I'm at a payphone _

_trying to call home _

_all of my change I spent on you. _

" Cute Rach, but I'm not in the mood right now." He shook his head before storming out of the room. He didn't see the sad look on her face as he shut her out.

* * *

He sat in his room avoiding everyone. What was Quinn's problem? SHe had to know that she was his only contact with the outside world. Why would she just ignore him? His mind slowly began to drift to the brunette beauty that he had snubbed just a short while ago. He instantly felt bad, she was only trying to cheer him up. Maybe he should apologize? Maybe?! WHo was he kidding he definitely needed to apologize.

Just as he made his way to the common area he heard Rachel's voice let out a loud pained cry. There she was standing next to a television that was hooked up to the only working VCR in the state. She looked furious. That's when Sam saw what was on the screen the was Rachel singing her heart out in some sort of competition standing in front of her, meer inches from her face was a tall brunette man. THe looked so in love. Like there was no one else on that stage, but them. That must have been her boyfriend. Just as he made the realization the TV took a tumble as Rachel knocked the whole cart over.

"Rachel!" Kurt jumped up in astonishment. "Rachel, please calm down." She crossed the room quickly and slapped him. Sam rushed forward just as Dr. Schuester made it to her side. He quickly restrained her and began to take her back to her room, she kicked a screamed the entire way. Sam watched until the door to her room shut, then he turned his attention back to a shocked Kurt and a concerned Puck.

"What the hell was that?!" Sam demanded and answer. Didn't they understand what kind of state seeing that would put her in?

"We thought it would help." Kurt choked back a sob. Sam ran a hand down his face.

"It's just..." He sighed frustrated. "It's just poor timing. She had a bit of a freak out yesterday...we were outside-" Kurt cut him off with a gasp.

"You got her to go outside?!" Sam tried not to be offended by the emphasis on you. He did notice Puck's annoyed look.

"Yea. We had a snowball fight, anyway she freaked when she heard a car's tires squeal."

"What have we done?!" Kurt's hand immediately shot to his mouth. Sam wasn't even paying attention he was already bolting down the hallway to grab his guitar. Music calmed her down. He could tell, out of all the time he watched her he had caught her a few times playing music on the piano in the middle of the night, sometimes when she thought everyone was asleep she would hum along.

Dr. Schuester was standing in front of her open door. Every so often a loud scream would emit from the room. Sam saw a few picture frames go flying and shatter against the wall. Dr. Schuester looked at him strangely before blocking his path.

"Please...I have to try." Dr. Schue looked at him for a moment before nodding slowly and stepping aside. Sam was already strumming on the guitar when he stepped through her door. Rachel stopped what she was doing and stared at him, eyes wide brimming with tears and listened as he sang.

_She grew up with_

_The children of the stars_

_In the hollywood hills and the boulevard_

_Her parents threw big parties_

_Everyone was there_

_They hung out with folks like_

_Dennis hopper, bob seeger, sonny and cher_

_Now, she feels safe_

_In this bar on fairfax_

_And from the stage I can tell that_

_She can't let go and she can't relax_

_And just before_

_She hangs her head to cry_

_I sing to her a lullaby, I sing_

_Everything's gonna be all right_

_Rockabye, rockabye_

_Everything's gonna be all right_

_Rockabye, rockabye_

_Rockabye_

Rachel slowly made her way across the room and sat down next to him on her bed. Leaning ever so gently against his shoulder. He kept on never faltering in the song.

_She still lives with her mom_

_Outside the city_

_Down that street about a half a mile_

_And all her friends tell her_

_She's so pretty_

_But she'd be a whole lot prettier_

_If she smiled once in a while_

_`cause even her smile_

_Looks like a frown_

_She's seen her share of devils_

_In this angel town_

_But, everything's gonna be all right_

_Rockabye, rockabye_

_Everything's gonna be all right_

_Rockabye, rockabye_

_Rockabye_

_I told her I ain't so sure_

_About this place_

_It's hard to play a gig in this town_

_And keep a straight face_

_Seems like everyone here's got a plan_

_It's kind of like nashville with a tan, but,_

_Everything's gonna be all right_

_Rockabye, rockabye_

_Everything's gonna be all right_

_Rockabye, rockabye_

_Everything's gonna be all right_

_Rockabye, rockabye_

_Everything's gonna be all right_

_Rockabye, rockabye,rockabye, bye, bye_

_Bye, bye_

As he finished the song he heard her breath become even and slow. She had tired herself out with her tantrum. He laid he back gently and slowly walked out of her room. He expected to see Dr. Schuester or even Kurt. He was not expecting a very angry looking Puck. He waited there with baited breath for the punch to the face, but nothing came.

"You're in love with her." It wasn't a question it was a statement and definitely one that shocked Sam to say the least.

"I don't think-" Puck cut him off.

"You tend to notice these things when your in the same boat." Puck shrugged as he looked past Sam to see Rachel sleeping peacefully on the bed.

"You love Rachel?"

"I've known her since we were both in diapers. I introduced her to Finn...I watched them fall in love." He had a pained expression on his face as he gave an exasperated sigh. "She's never going to be the same. That Rachel you saw in the video...she's gone. She died with Finn. SHe'll never be the same."

"Maybe that's a good thing. I never knew that Rachel anyways." Sam patted Puck lightly on the shoulder. "Nice chat."

**Let me know what you think. Reviews are love and they let me know what you think. Let me know if there's anything you like, dislike or anything you might like to see happen. Also I love to hear your theories about what might happen. The song I used was Lullaby by Shawn Mullins. **


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